News and information on Shell Plc
Posted by John Donovan: 21 November 2023
In a plot twist that would make Charles Dickens do a double take, Shell PLC, the bigwig of Big Oil, has actually paid UK corporate taxes for the first time since… well, since they started telling us about it four years ago. Thanks to a windfall levy (think of it as a ‘surprise, you’re rich!’ tax), Shell had to part with a whopping US$40.5 million. Let’s put that in perspective: It’s like a billionaire finding a tenner in their coat pocket.
And just in case anyone named in this saga of righteousness finds any factual inaccuracies, they’re warmly invited to point them out for correction. Because, after all, we wouldn’t want to tarnish the impeccable reputation of these paragons of corporate integrity, would we?Posted by John Donovan: 17 November 2023
In a stunning twist of fate that’s sure to leave environmentalists and anti-corruption advocates reeling, Nigeria has decided to just give up on its pesky lawsuits against the ever-so-virtuous Shell Plc over some trivial corruption allegations in a decade-old oil field deal. It’s like watching a thrilling courtroom drama, but the good guys (obviously Shell and friends) win in the end without breaking a sweat.
The Nigerian Ministry of Justice, in a move that’s totally not suspicious at all, has gracefully bowed out of civil proceedings related to an oil block, OPL 245, before Italy’s highest court. A Shell spokesperson, probably struggling to contain their glee, confirmed this delightful turn of events. Shell’s partner, Eni SpA, also chimed in, confirming they received a letter from the government stating the claims would be withdrawn “unconditionally” by Friday. “We are pleased that this claim has been withdrawn,” said the Shell spokesperson, in what must be the understatement of the century.
Posted by John Donovan: 16 November 2023
Anaïs Peterson of Earthworks dropped some fun facts at the party: a nine-day benzene release and a 65-hour carbon monoxide emission event. Talk about party favours! And the guests of honour? Residents like Skyler Brimmeier, who can smell Shell’s operations before they even see their house, and others who have moved out because the Shell party just never ends.
But don’t worry, Shell’s been a good sport, doling out $10 million in fines for their environmental oopsies. Daniel Rossi-Keen of RiverWise gave a heartfelt toast, pointing out that good neighbours don’t typically pollute your air, water, and soil. Shell, however, reassured everyone that safety is their “top priority.” They’re probably just working on a different definition of safety than the rest of us.
In a world where even the courts seem to be looking the other way, Shell continues its merry dance, spewing emissions while promising a greener tomorrow. Will they ever be held accountable? Don’t hold your breath – unless you’re near one of their refineries, that is.Posted by John Donovan: 15 November 2023
In what reads like a plot from a dystopian novel, Shell, the poster child for ‘do as I say, not as I do’, has just wriggled out of a groundbreaking lawsuit. The Court of Appeal, in a move that screams “business as usual,” refused to hear ClientEarth’s lawsuit against Shell’s Board of Directors. This legal battle was a first-of-its-kind attempt to make directors pay for climate risk mismanagement. Talk about a missed chance to make corporate bigwigs sweat!
Posted by John Donovan: 15 November 2023
Get ready to dive into a world where oil meets AI! In a recent chit-chat at Lisbon’s Web Summit, Shell’s AI head honcho, Amy Challen, and Tom Lee-Devlin of The Economist, unraveled the company’s not-so-secret romance with generative artificial intelligence. Spoiler alert: it’s complicated.
Challen kicked off by dropping a bombshell: Shell’s been flirting with AI for years, even dabbling in the elusive generative AI scene. “We’ve been cozying up with large language models for eons,” she confessed, hinting at a deeper, more “intelligent” relationship with their data.
Floating off the coast of Western Australia like a lost whale, the UK-based behemoth initially planned a few months of spa time for the FLNG starting in August. But, as with all things Shell, it’s not that simple.Posted by John Donovan: 14 November 2023
Shell, the ever-so-efficient energy giant, has extended the maintenance of its colossal Prelude floating LNG producer. Why, you ask? Because they’ve just now noticed some extra work that needs doing. Talk about being late to the party.
A Shell spokesperson, likely spinning a globe to find where the Prelude is, commented, “Prelude is a complex facility in a remote offshore location.” Ah, the old ‘it’s complex and far away’ line – a classic! They added, “We continue to work through the process methodically taking as much time as required to ensure safe execution of all activities.” Translation: We’re taking our sweet time.
Posted on 12 November 2023 by John Donovan
In the high-stakes world of oil barons and carbon czars, Shell and BP might just be flirting with the idea of a fossil fuel marriage made in heaven. Because, in the grand world of big oil, bigger is always better, especially when everyone else is fretting over minor things like climate change and renewable energy.
Once upon a time, under the starry-eyed leadership of Lord John Browne, BP was the belle of the ball, scooping up Amoco and Arco in a transatlantic love affair. Meanwhile, Shell, not to be outdone and under Ben van Beurden’s watchful eye, waltzed with BG Group for a cool £36 billion in 2016.
Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.ukReviewer Chris: Location Wirral: Date 2023-10-18
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Reviewer M.Simpson: Location Liverpool: Date 2023-10-17
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What an awful company, switched provider to BT and still being charged by Shell even though they know they are not providing a service, typical oil company should never have been allowed into the telecomms sector or any sector for that matter they have done enough damage to the planet, crash and burn suckers!
Reviewer Mr Morris: Location Cheshire UK: Date 2023-10-15
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All I can say is we’ve been counting the months until we can go with another ISP. For a multi-billion pound company, the functionality of the website is deplorable. I can’t ever view my bills, important links on the website don’t function. It’s actually shocking how bad Shell are as an ISP.
For 2 months Shell Energy sent me postal demands for nearly £4,400 for
a neighbour’s electricity supply based on the fact that I lived in the same postcode. I spent over 12 hours on the phone over 2 months explaining their error time and time and time again but not one call handler grasped the fact that Shell did not have a full supply address – they had sent letters to all householders living in the same postcode asking for payment. Appalling service, extremely rude staff, some of whom appeared not to have the foggiest idea what they were doing. Worst service I have received on my life!
Shell, the ever-so-clever fox, asserts that their ad blitz is all about showcasing their role in both traditional fuels and renewables. After all, who wouldn’t want to know about the great things a fossil fuel giant is doing in the age of climate crisis?Posted by John Donovan: 10 November 2023
In an epic display of keeping up with the kids, Shell, the oil and gas behemoth, is donning its hippest hat to woo the young’uns. What better way to endear oneself to a generation terrified of climate change than by hopping onto Instagram, gaming platforms, and influencer bandwagons?
“I am fuelled by the ocean,” proclaims Sage Erickson, a champion surfer with 310,000 Instagram disciples, in a Shell-backed video. She talks about instilling noble values in the youth, while artfully side-stepping any mention of Shell or its fossil fuel-centric agenda.
Posted by John Donovan: 9 November 2023
In the latest episode of ‘Oil Titans vs. The World’, the US Supreme Court, in its majestic indifference, has denied a pause to the legal theatrics of BP Plc and Shell Plc units. These plucky underdogs were just asking for a little breather before a Louisiana trial that could see them forking over billions for their alleged role in a coastal vanishing act.
It seems that the companies, in a display of courtroom gymnastics, tried to vault the case out of Cameron Parish, arguing that a fair trial there would be as elusive as an honest emissions report. Their plea? That every local juror is too personally and financially intertwined in the coastal loss saga to judge the case without bias. The audacity of the community for being affected by the issue at hand!
Posted by John Donovan: 9 November 2023
In a dazzling display of corporate might meets environmental kite-flying, Shell, the ever-so-benevolent oil monarch, has unsheathed its legal swords against the high-speed rubber ducks of the sea—Greenpeace. With a modest ask of £1.7 million in damages, Shell is practically passing around the charity hat, seeking just compensation for the audacious act of activists boarding its noble vessel, the White Marlin.
As Shell puts it, with the gravity of a Shakespearean aside, they must recover “the significant costs of responding to Greenpeace’s dangerous actions.” Yes, dear reader, let’s ponder the danger of these eco-warriors and their inflatable boats against the backdrop of an oil platform, as threatening as a feather to a tank.
Posted by John Donovan: 5 November 2023
As the world cries for renewable energy, Shell’s new CEO, Wael Sawan, has concocted a delicious strategy that conveniently forgets those pesky green initiatives that don’t promise massive paychecks. The plan? Embrace the fossil fuels that keep investors warm and toasty, while giving the cold shoulder to the less profitable ventures in the green space.
Sawan, with a twinkle in his eye, declares it’s time for Shell to get “leaner” and more “disciplined,” as reported by the Financial Times. Because, in the end, who needs a full-bodied approach to saving the planet when a slimmed-down, oil-guzzling figure will do just fine?
Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.ukReviewer John Duxbury: Location Selby: Date 2023-10-13
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No Stars at all for anything. The worst broadband provider I have ever had. Regularly loosing signal whilst watching vids online on my TV, resulting in my computer dropping the connection. Shockingly bad service and for the last 15 months it just was not worth phoning them and expecting them to improve. When the contract finished they tried to bill me for the final month even though I paid in advance. Cannot even do basic accounting.
Reviewer Daniel: Location Kent: Date 2023-10-10
Posted by John Donovan: 2 November 2023
In a spectacle of corporate jubilation, Shell has flaunted a $6.2 billion profit bonanza, much to the horror of environmentalists and the delight of shareholders rubbing their hands in glee. As if mother nature hadn’t suffered enough, Shell has profited handsomely from the oil price bounce, a merry-go-round fueled by Opec+’s crafty production cuts and the sad ongoing soap opera of global conflicts.
This show of profits, a slight dip from last year’s staggering $9.4 billion—when oil prices soared amidst the heart-wrenching drama of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine—still paints a rosy picture for Shell’s ledger. It seems the oil barons have found their silver lining in the dark clouds of geopolitical turmoil, with the World Bank casting a doomsday prophecy of oil prices potentially skyrocketing to an eye-watering $150 a barrel.
Posted by John Donovan: 2 November 2023
As the world gasps in the shadow of climate calamity, Shell CEO, Wael Sawan, has emerged from the shadows, not with a plan to save the planet, but with a scheme to shower shareholders with more silver. In a dazzling display of financial acrobatics, Shell is turning its back on the charm of ‘mega acquisitions’ to play a solo game of Monopoly with its windfall profits.
Sawan, with the finesse of a Vegas high-roller, has bet big on a ‘buyback bonanza’ to keep the cash registers ringing for those with stakes in the game, prioritizing a hefty $3.5 billion repurchase raffle ticket for the next quarter.
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