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Sir Andrew Mackenzie and Shell’s Delusional Climate “Solutions”

Posted by John Donovan: 24 June 2024

Ah, Sir Andrew Mackenzie, the knight in shining oil-stained armour, has graced us with his profound wisdom on tackling climate change. Who would have thought that solving one of the world’s biggest crises could be more challenging than running a mining company? Not Sir Andrew, apparently.

In a revelation that’s about as surprising as finding sand in the desert, Sir Andrew admits that handling climate change at Shell is “quite a lot harder than I expected.” You see, at BHP, he could comfortably discuss all sorts of theoretical climate solutions without actually having to implement them. Now, faced with the greasy reality at Shell, things aren’t so easy. read more

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Shell’s Bold New Plan: Running Away to the Land of Fossil Fuel Fanatics

No shit, Sherlock. Moving your headquarters across the Atlantic isn’t exactly like booking a vacation.

Posted by John Donovan: 20 June 2024

In the latest episode of “What the Actual F**k?”, Shell, that lovable giant known for its charming pollution and undying greed, is considering jumping ship to the good ol’ U.S. of A. Yes, you heard it right! Rigzone conducted some riveting interviews with analysts to get the scoop on this potential exodus. Spoiler alert: it’s all about money and less about saving the planet.

According to Patrick Rutty, the Director of Global Intelligence at Enverus, “It is a widely shared perception these days that there’s no better place to be a listed oil and gas company than America, owing largely to its relatively fossil fuel-friendly investors.” Well, duh. If you’re a company that thrives on drilling holes in the earth and spewing carbon, the U.S. is practically Disney World.

Rutty also spilt the beans that back in 2021, Royal Dutch Shell “shucked its first and middle names” and moved its tax residence from the Netherlands to the UK after a Dutch court called their carbon emissions plans lame. Apparently, London is now a “problematic” home too because of Brexit. Who would’ve guessed? read more

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Shell’s Greenwashing Extravaganza: Charging Stations for a Better Future or Just a Smokescreen?

Posted by John Donovan: 20 June 2024

In a move that screams “We’re trying to save the planet, we swear!”, Shell has launched a new rapid-charging station for electric vessels in Amsterdam. Yes, you heard that right—Shell, the oil behemoth known for its ruthless pollution and insatiable greed, now wants a slice of the green energy pie.

On Monday, with more self-congratulatory back-patting than you can shake a solar panel at, Shell Marine cut the ribbon on its latest “innovation” at the Energy Transition Campus Amsterdam (ETCA). This Megawatt Charging System, boasting three times the power of your average e-truck station and equipped with a “universal” connector, is here to save the day—or at least try to salvage Shell’s PR. read more

This website and sisters,,,, and, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell Shock! Canadian Workers to Vote on Strike as Oil Giant Plays Tug-of-War with Fair Wages

Posted by John Donovan: 16 June 2024

In the latest episode of Shell’s ongoing drama series “How Low Can We Go?”, the oil titan’s workers at the Scotford facility in Canada are preparing to vote on a strike. Apparently, the greedy, ruthless, polluting giant thinks it’s acceptable to keep its workers’ compensation “well-below industry standards,” according to the Unifor union. 

Despite months of bargaining starting in January, Shell’s idea of a “mutually acceptable agreement” involves low-balling the very people who keep their bitumen upgrader, oil refinery, chemicals plant, and carbon capture and storage facility running smoothly. Let’s not forget, this upgrader has a capacity of 320,000 barrels of oil equivalent per day of diluted bitumen. That’s a lot of oil and a lot of profit, yet somehow fair wages are still out of reach.

A Shell spokesperson, with all the sincerity of a used car salesman, stated, “We will continue to work through the bargaining process to reach a mutually acceptable agreement for both parties.” Sure, because nothing says “mutual” like pushing for wages that don’t meet industry standards. read more

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Corporate Accountability 1, Greedy Giants 0

Shell got off scot-free despite strong evidence they were up to their necks in aiding the Nigerian military’s torture and killing spree against environmental protesters.

Posted by John Donovan: 12 June 2024

In a rare twist of fate where the universe temporarily operates on justice, Chiquita Brands was held accountable for its cosy relationship with murderous paramilitaries in Colombia. A Florida jury just slapped the fruit giant with a $38.3 million bill for the deaths of eight people, putting a price tag on human lives lost in Chiquita’s quest for banana empire dominance.

You see, back in the late 90s and early 2000s, Chiquita thought it was a brilliant idea to pay almost $2 million to the United Self-Defense Forces of Colombia (AUC), a right-wing death squad. In return, these thugs made sure the land was ripe for banana farming, even if it meant killing and displacing locals. The AUC, a group so charming they got themselves labeled a foreign terrorist organization by the U.S., happily did the dirty work while Chiquita reaped the benefits. Fast forward to 2024, and the families of eight victims have finally been granted a slice of justice. read more

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Shell’s Spills & Thrills: Nigerian Communities Take the Oil Giant to Court

Posted by John Donovan: 10 June 2024

In the latest episode of “How Low Can Shell Go?”, the oil behemoth is gearing up to defend itself against claims from two Nigerian communities and over 13,000 individuals who are fed up with Shell’s toxic spills wrecking their lives.

Next up on the courtroom drama: a case management conference on June 11-12, 2024, at the High Court in London. This little get-together will set the stage for the 2025 trial where the levels of oil contamination in the Bille community and its horrific impacts will be laid bare.

Shell, ever the slippery operator, announced they’re ditching their onshore operations in Nigeria. But don’t be fooled—this isn’t them riding off into the sunset, it’s just complicating the mess they’ve left behind. The lawsuit, led by the tireless folks at law firm Leigh Day, will put Shell’s legal obligations under the Nigerian Constitution and the African Charter for Human and Peoples’ Rights under the microscope, focusing on the right to a clean environment. Who knew we had to drag an oil giant to court to enforce basic human rights? read more

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Shell Digs Deeper: The Quest for More Profits at the Expense of the South Africa Wild Coast

Posted by John Donovan: 10 June 2024

In a shocking display of corporate greed and utter disregard for the environment, Shell, the infamous oil giant known for its ruthless pollution tactics, is hell-bent on drilling for oil and gas off the South Africa Wild Coast in the Eastern Cape.

This week, the Supreme Court of Appeal (SCA) upheld a ruling by the high court in Makhanda, ordering Shell to pause its voracious plans until it has “sufficiently consulted” the communities that will be directly impacted. Because, you know, consulting the locals whose lives you’re about to wreck is apparently an afterthought for Shell.

“It is not in dispute that neither the public was given notice of the decisions or informed of the right to appeal. The failure to do so, which is unexplained on the papers, is subversive of the procedural entitlements of the appellants,” reads the SCA judgment. read more

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Shell’s Generosity: Funding Air Monitors to Track Their Own Pollution

Posted 7 June 2024 by John Donovan

Pennsylvania Shell ethylene cracker plant

In a stunning display of corporate altruism, Shell, the benevolent oil giant known for its tender care of the environment, has graciously agreed to part with over $630,000. This sum, a mere trifle from the $10 million in penalties they’ve amassed, will be used by environmental watchdog groups to install five real-time air monitors throughout Beaver County. Because, you know, it’s easier just to keep track of how much pollution you’re breathing in rather than stop polluting.

The Beaver County Marcellus Awareness Community (BCMAC) is partnering with the Environmental Health Project to deploy these monitors. According to a Monday news release, the goal is to “analyze, visualize and interpret the data collected from these monitors to help community members understand where the air pollution is coming from and what health outcomes they may expect.” Translation: “Let’s help you pinpoint exactly how Shell’s pollution is killing you.”

BCMAC will also “provide community education about air pollution and the health impacts associated with exposure to emissions from petrochemical facilities.” This initiative stems from activists’ long-standing demand for increased monitoring near Shell’s ethane cracker plant, which started operations in late 2022. Ah yes, education – because knowing you’re being poisoned is half the battle. read more

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“Godfathers of Climate Chaos”: UN Chief Calls Out Shell and BP, Demands Global Ad Ban

Posted by John Donovan: 5 June 2024

Hold onto your hats, folks. António Guterres, the UN Secretary-General, just dropped a bombshell that should make the fossil-fuel overlords squirm in their plush boardroom chairs. Shell and BP, among others, are now being labeled the “godfathers of climate chaos.” That’s right, the planet-wrecking tycoons might soon find themselves banned from advertising, much like those pesky tobacco companies.

In a scorching speech in New York, Guterres took no prisoners, calling out news and tech media for enabling “planetary destruction” by taking dirty oil money. “We are at climate crunch time,” he declared, unveiling terrifying new data from the World Meteorological Organization (WMO) showing we’re on the brink of surpassing 1.5C warming. The recent 12 months have already pushed the global temperature to a blistering 1.63C above pre-industrial levels. Fun times ahead! read more

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Shell CEO’s Climate Love Letter: “It’s All Good” Says the Planet’s Top Polluter

Posted by John Donovan: 4 June 2024

In a twist straight out of a dystopian satire, Shell’s CEO Wael Sawan decided to back President Biden’s climate agenda with a level of enthusiasm typically reserved for used car salesmen and snake oil peddlers.

At an event hosted by the Center for Strategic and International Studies, Sawan showered praise on Biden’s bipartisan infrastructure law and Inflation Reduction Act, claiming they’re “attracting a significant amount of capital in different states, whether it’s a red or blue state.” Oh, how inclusive.

“You’re creating jobs. You’re actually starting to anchor new industries. And over time, what you will do is you will create supply chains locally that are able to satisfy the demands of many of these industries,” he gushed. “That’s all good.” Yes, because nothing screams “environmental stewardship” like a fossil fuel titan suddenly championing green jobs.

This revelation comes as a shock only to those living under a rock, considering Shell’s recent break from the broader oil industry to advocate for the IRA – a law passed solely by Democrats and opposed by every single Republican. Shell, ever the opportunist, now champions clean energy portions of the law to fend off potential GOP attacks. read more

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Shell’s Grandiose Failure: How the Cracker Plant Stunk Up Beaver County

Posted by John Donovan: 4 June 2024

Well, well, well. Look who’s back in the headlines: Shell, the benevolent oil overlord, gracing us with its latest triumph. Remember that glorious cracker plant in Beaver County that was supposed to shower us with jobs and economic bliss? Yeah, that one. Turns out, it’s more of an economic disaster and environmental nightmare. Bravo, Shell!

Shell promised a “minor environmental impact” – a cute understatement considering they’ve racked up $10 million in fines for air pollution violations. Ah, the sweet smell of success. Beaver residents get to enjoy this lovely aroma while watching the supposed economic boom fizzle into a depressing bust. read more

This website and sisters,,,, and, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s Seismic Tantrum

Posted by John Donovan: 3 June 2024

Shell’s Seismic Tantrum: Court Smacks Down Oil Giant’s Appeal But Leaves Door Open for Another Round of Environmental Nonsense

Environmental Activists Win Against Shell In Appeal Court

In a classic case of corporate shenanigans, Shell and their cronies at Impact Africa, along with the Department of Mineral Resources and Energy (DMRE), just had their appeal smacked down by the Supreme Court of Appeal (SCA). Their aim? To overturn a High Court ruling that halted their oh-so-important seismic survey off the Wild Coast. Why the halt? Apparently, “community participation” was more of a bad joke than a reality.

The SCA dismissed their appeal with costs and pointed out that the so-called community involvement was downright “illusory.” Translation: Shell’s idea of consulting the local communities was about as real as a unicorn. But hold onto your hats, because the court did leave a teeny-tiny crack open for Shell and Impact Africa to make a third attempt to renew their 2014 exploration rights. Of course, this time, they actually have to talk to the people whose lives they’re screwing over. read more

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Trump Convicted for Fraud, Shell Execs Next in Line for Climate Catastrophe Crimes?

Shell execs, are you sweating yet?


On May 30, a New York jury found former President Donald Trump guilty of 34 charges related to hush money payments and falsifying business records. While the country is split over the conviction and the inevitable appeal, there’s an unexpected silver lining: this case could be a roadmap for nailing climate criminals like the execs at Shell and TotalEnergies.

Activists have long been dragging companies and governments into court to make them face the consequences of their climate sins. Most of these battles have been in civil courts, where the penalties are mostly financial—because nothing screams justice like a fine that barely dents corporate profits. The one notable exception was a 2021 Dutch court ruling that ordered Royal Dutch Shell to cut carbon emissions by 45% by 2030. Shell, predictably, is appealing the decision because, you know, profits over planet. read more

This website and sisters,,,, and, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell and Exxon Flee North Sea Like It’s on Fire, Sell Assets to Viaro Energy

Posted by John Donovan: 30 May 2024

Shell and Exxon Mobil, the twin titans of oil pollution, are almost ready to dump their UK North Sea gas fields onto Viaro Energy for a measly $500 million (£395 million), according to those ever-reliable “sources” from Reuters.

In their desperate scramble to focus on more lucrative ventures (because who needs history or responsibility?), these oil behemoths are packing up from the ageing North Sea basin. This fire sale includes the Clipper and Leman Alpha field clusters, signalling the end of the long-standing Esso joint venture between Shell and Exxon, which dates back to 1965. RIP, corporate nostalgia. read more

This website and sisters,,,, and, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell AGM: Shareholders Cheer for Profits Over Planet, Reject Climate Resolution Amid Protests

Posted by John Donovan: 21 May 2024

In a shocking display of corporate bravado and environmental disdain, Shell’s shareholders once again proved they couldn’t care less about the planet. At Tuesday’s annual general meeting, they overwhelmingly rejected a climate resolution filed by the activist group Follow This, despite the backdrop of vehement protests.

This climate resolution, mind you, was backed by 27 investors managing a whopping $4 trillion. These forward-thinkers dared to suggest that Shell should align its carbon emissions reduction targets with the Paris Climate Agreement. The nerve! But alas, only 18.6% of the shareholders supported it, a decline from last year’s modest 20%. Apparently, Shell’s board had already made it crystal clear that such eco-friendly suggestions were unwelcome. read more

This website and sisters,,,, and, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Shell’s AGM Spectacle: A Symphony of Greenwashing and Protester Evictions

Posted by John Donovan: 21 May 2024

In what can only be described as a bizarre mix of a bad corporate play and a tragic comedy, Shell’s annual general meeting (AGM) saw its chairman Sir Andrew MacKenzie facing the wrath of climate protesters accusing him of “greenwashing.” Yes, the oil behemoth’s top brass had the nerve to gather at the posh InterContinental London – The O2 hotel to deliver their usual drivel about being eco-friendly while their actions scream otherwise. read more

This website and sisters,,,, and, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.